Celebrating Milestones with Metastatic Breast Cancer: Finding Joy in Every Moment

For many people, milestones mark joyous occasions—birthdays, weddings, or personal achievements. But for those of us living with metastatic breast cancer (mBC), anniversaries can take on a whole new meaning. For some people, we celebrate the birthdays we weren’t sure we’d reach, the cancerversaries that remind us of our resilience, and every milestone in between.

Some of us throw big parties, while others reflect quietly. Some find joy in small moments, like an extra year of memories with loved ones. No matter how we choose to acknowledge these anniversaries, they are a testament to our strength, our journey, and the life we strive to live despite the challenges.

Birthdays: More Than Just Another Year

Birthdays have always been special to me, but after my metastatic breast cancer diagnosis, they took on an entirely new meaning. Each birthday is no longer just a marker of age, it’s a celebration of strength, of making it through another year, of living despite the odds.

For my 48th birthday, I decided to do something different. Growing up in Southern California, theme parks have always been my happy place. I’ve been a fan for as long as I can remember, and throughout my life, I’ve visited parks with family, friends, and partners. But this year, I made a different choice—I went to my favorite theme park alone.

That might not sound like a big deal to some, but for me, it was huge. Growing up in a big family and having a daughter at a young age meant I rarely did anything completely on my own. The fear of being alone in an unfamiliar place with no immediate support was real.

I had to push back against those anxious thoughts and give myself a pep talk:

"It's going to be okay. You deserve this. You can do this."

And guess what? I did. I made it. And not only was everything okay, but it was incredible.

I got to move at my own pace, ride my favorite attractions without compromise, and take in the magic of the park in a way I never had before. I ate what I wanted, took breaks when I needed, and simply existed in a space that has always brought me happiness. It was a powerful reminder that celebrating milestones doesn’t have to fit a mold. Sometimes, the best way to honor another year of life is to do what makes your soul happy—even if it means flying solo in every sense of the word, like it did for me.

Cancerversaries: A Complex Celebration

Cancerversaries mark the day that, as patients, our lives changed forever—the day we received a diagnosis that could alter the course of everything. Some see it as a day of gratitude, a reminder of the strength it takes to keep going. Others find it emotional, a day filled with grief for the life that once was. And for many of us, it’s both at the same time.

I still remember the day I first heard the words that no one ever wants to hear: You have infiltrating ductal carcinoma- also known as Breast Cancer. Each year that passes, I think of the anniversary of receiving the news and find myself flooded with many emotions. On one hand, I think, "Wow, that feels like so long ago!" On the other, I think, "Whoa—look where I am today."  Little did I know that nearly a full decade later, I would still be here, now stage 4, still navigating this disease, still persevering.

In some years, I've let my cancerversary pass without much thought, while other years, it has weighed on me heavily. I've felt everything from gratitude to exhaustion, hope to frustration. There is no "right" way to mark the day—it changes depending on where I am in my life. This year, as I reflect on a decade with cancer, I'm allowing myself to sit with all of it—the sorrow, strength, the uncertainty, and, most importantly, the life I am still living.

My cancerversaries can feel complex, but they are mine. As a cancer community, whether we acknowledge them with quiet reflection, a personal ritual, or even a small celebration, they are reminders of everything we've endured—and of the resilience that carries us forward.

Milestones Beyond the Diagnosis

For those of us with metastatic breast cancer, milestones are not just about the passage of time but about the moments, big and small, that define our journey. Some milestones are medical related, like receiving news of a stable scan or completing a treatment. Others are deeply personal, like traveling somewhere new, or even something as simple as feeling well enough to go out for dinner with friends.

One of the most meaningful milestones in my life was walking my only daughter down the aisle when she got married. A few years ago, I wasn’t sure if I would still be here to witness that day, let alone play such an important role. But I was. I took each step with her, feeling the weight of everything I had been through and the overwhelming joy of simply being there. That moment wasn't just about her wedding, it was about defying the odds, about getting to see a future I once feared I wouldn't.

Honoring Our Journeys, Our Way

Living with metastatic breast cancer means that time feels different. Every year, every milestone, every moment carries weight in a way that is hard to put into words. We celebrate birthdays with a little extra gratitude, acknowledge cancerversaries with a mix of emotions, and redefine what milestones mean to us. 

There is no right or wrong way to mark these occasions—only what feels meaningful to us. Some days, we celebrate with joy. Other days, we sit with the emotions that come with this journey. And that’s okay. What matters is that we honor our stories in a way that feels true to who we are.

Because at the end of the day, metastatic breast cancer is only part of our story—it is not the whole story. And as long as we are here, we will keep finding ways to make the moments count. Because every step forward—no matter how big or small—is worth celebrating.