Strength and Personal Identity in the Face of Metastatic Breast Cancer (mBC)

Navigating an mBC Diagnosis

When I was a young adult preparing for my future, I never would have envisioned a chronic disease as part of my journey. A metastatic breast cancer (mBC) diagnosis was not in the plan. The truth is that even the best plans can get sidetracked, and the challenges we meet are the things that not only change us but also shape us. After having to address an unforeseen diagnosis – being forced to deal with treatments, insurance, financial concerns, and my own mortality – I’ve emerged as a stronger person who is better equipped to handle unexpected challenges. Much like silver is refined through intense heat before cooling into its final form, I am who I am now not in spite of, but because of, the hardships I've faced.

A New Relationship with My Body

My mBC diagnosis changed my relationship with my body. Before my diagnosis, I didn’t spend much time thinking about how my body supported me. I took it for granted, eating a diet that wasn’t always healthy and participating in physical activities without considering how my body allowed me to engage in them.

Now, I am grateful for and amazed at how my body functions, and I strive to nourish and support it as much as I can. I no longer take my body for granted and instead try to put only the best fuel into my body – much like you would with a high-performance car to keep it running at its best. I’m much more mindful now of how I care for my body and treat it with appreciation.

Staying True to Myself

Even though mBC has changed me in many ways, I’ve found that, at my core, I’m still me. Just as always, I feel most like myself when I’m out in nature. Walking, biking, and gardening are all activities that allow me to disconnect from technology, to enjoy the fresh air and sunshine, and to just breathe. Some of my strengths have remained steady, but some have been redefined, including my faith, love of family, confidence, planning, self-discipline, and handling complex situations.

Discovering New Strengths

New strengths and a mindset shift have emerged since my diagnosis, including independence, the ability to pivot when my plans get upended, resilience, and being able to let go of emotions that no longer serve me. I’ve learned that holding on to grudges is a total waste of my energy. The old adage that, “if a situation won’t matter in five years, just let it go” rings very true to me. It’s much easier now to recognize, and then intentionally let go of negative emotions. When they bubble up from time to time, I remind myself that it’s not healthy to hold on to them.

Embracing Growth & Advocacy

One new strength that has emerged in me that I am particularly proud of is a willingness to try new things. I’ve learned that life is short and second chances don’t always come along. Another positive outcome from my diagnosis is that I’ve learned to speak up for myself. As a patient, advocating for myself has become very important. No one knows me or my body as well as I do and speaking up for myself has been a valuable strength.

Meaningful Relationships

As far as my closest relationships are concerned, they have definitely shifted in more meaningful ways. I strive to be a more authentic person – perhaps a gentler and more approachable one. I’ve also realized the importance of cultivating relationships, especially those with my grandchildren. Spending time doing simple but fun activities with them on a frequent basis often leads to meaningful conversations where we learn so much about each other. Simple joys like a child’s laughter and the way their eyes light up when they learn something new bring me so much happiness. Before, I might not have noticed little things like that. I no longer measure success by my finances, status, or career. To me, success is about making the most of each day, surrounded by a caring circle of friends and family.

Redefining Hope

I’ve often heard people describe those impacted by cancer as brave or inspirational. In my case, I’m uncomfortable with the term “inspiration” or “role model.” It’s not like I chose to take on this disease. For me, it wasn’t really an active decision but more of a compelling instinct to keep going. I prefer to be seen as a potential for hope – maybe an example for someone navigating a similar path to look to.

This blog post was created in paid partnership with Pfizer