Finding Joy in the Little Things While Living with Metastatic Breast Cancer (mBC)
It was a Spring morning, and I was cleaning my house after a visit from my son and his family. Busy with my task, I went to the back door to wipe down the glass. Seeing my granddaughters’ little sticky handprints made my heart sing! Those little handprints were a small reminder of how fortunate I was to be alive at that moment.
Looking back to when I was first diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer (mBC), I remember thinking that I’d never live long enough to see grandchildren. Living with a mBC diagnosis can be physically and emotionally taxing, but gradually, I’ve learned to cope with stressful and uncertain times. I’ve discovered that finding joy in small and simple things in life through nature, relationships, memories, and mindfulness helps to redirect my focus on something other than the challenges that come along with living with a terminal illness.
Finding Peace in Nature
Living with mBC can lead to some incredibly stressful days – some worse than others – but being out in nature has an especially calming effect on me during some of the tough days.
There are many different moments that bring me peace on days that I need it the most; some of them include feeling a warm breeze on my face, noticing the beauty of an especially colorful sunset/sunrise, hearing the birds sing in the early mornings, finding or leaving a painted rock, and looking at fields of copious wildflowers on a Texas highway.
I have learned that having mBC sometimes means looking for hope in the smallest corners. To me, this means watching a thunderstorm roll in, smelling the dry earth absorb the rain, observing a child blow dandelion seeds off its stem, and spotting signs of spring emerging from the cold earth. These special observations give me hope in renewed life and allow me to take a moment to appreciate the smaller things.
The Importance of Relationships
Another area I find reassurance in is being conscious of my relationships. Taking in the look of wonder in a grandchild’s eye when they figure something out, hearing someone say they love me (or telling them I love them), moments of laughter with friends, a gift of a simple flower brought in from the garden, or catching the loving look in my husband’s eye remind me of the love and support in my life.
As someone living with mBC, this is especially important to me because I know how short life can be and I think what matters most to many humans is our relationships with each other. My mBC diagnosis has taught me that I thrive through meaningful connections, and I feel that those connections are what will be remembered long after I’m gone.
Cherishing Memories
The joy I find in memories is priceless. Memories from vacations, adventures, and happy occasions with friends and family remind me of the full life I’ve experienced. Over many moments of a lifetime these glimpses add up and those memories spur me to plan on making additional happy and meaningful memories.
After losing so many friends to mBC, I recognize that being mindful of small moments of joy is invaluable. I have found that when it comes to the most important people in my life, they may not remember a gift I gave them, but they will certainly remember our relationship, or a special memory of our time spent together and how it made them feel.
Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness has helped me to be grateful for the abundant life I’ve been given and aided me in not squandering that treasured gift. During a particularly challenging time, I found myself extremely anxious while having a scan performed, and I knew that anxiety would not do me any good. To combat that feeling, I took some deep breaths and concentrated on breathing exercises to calm myself. To further take my mind off my situation, I then started to think of who greeted me with a smile that morning. From there, I began to think of people I was grateful to have in my life and the reasons for my gratitude. These simple practices of finding joy in the little things help me focus on the present, allowing me to savor the beautiful moments that are just waiting to be discovered, which in turn provides me with a more fulfilling life. Bad days are inevitable, but finding joy in the little things has given me moments of respite from the worry. Life feels a little bit better when I remember to pause and notice the beauty and wonder around me.
Continuing with my cleaning that day, I decided to bypass the back door and leave those little sticky handprints untouched so I could enjoy them for just a few more days.
